Mirada al abismo: 360°

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¿Qué tan masoquistas podemos llegar a ser? ¿Qué tanto estamos dispuestos a sacrificar por ese alguien?

Cuando el corazón no puede más, es la razón quien te abraza.

Los días pasan, he tratado de convencerme que todo cambiará, me miento y nublo mi visión para seguir su ritmo; algunas veces le he enfrentado, le he gritado por la verdad, dice necesitarme, quererme y que nada podría ser sin mí, pero ¿y por qué no lo siento? Cada vez me quedo sin menos lágrimas, con más sentimiento y un nudo que ahoga mi garganta.

Aquella mañana despertamos juntos, sentí más frío que de costumbre, como si mi cuerpo alertara lo que podría suceder, un frío premonitorio a lo que vendría. Al levantar mi cara de la almohada, él ya se encontraba vestido, listo para irse, se acercó y posó sus labios en mi sien, «Vales demasiado, pero ahora no puedo darte lo que necesitas» – dijo. Allí quedé yo, sin poder esbozar una palabra, estaba enmudecido, le vi salir del cuarto, de la casa, de mi vida. La historia que había comenzado con un café y una sonrisa tímida, la historia que se suponía sería mi vida había terminado, desquebrajándome repasaba una y otra vez lo sucedido, cada sílaba retumbaba con más fuerza.

El tiempo es la morfina para el corazón, nos insensibiliza hasta que los recuerdos vuelven. He pecado, he pecado contra mí, he entregado mí corazón, y eso, por este tiempo, es un suicidio. He pensado que eras diferente, pobre tonto que soy, devoras corazones como quien no se sacia, te alimentas de ilusiones y sonrisas, todo para luego convertirlo en agonía. Eres de los que matan con besos, de los que crean adicciones y te destrozan. Ahora logro entender que aquel que promete no siempre cumple, que algunos “para siempre” a veces son finitos pasajeros y que las sonrisas bonitas no siempre traen felicidad consigo.

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