El reflejo

No sé cómo empezar algo a lo que en veces anteriores he querido darle final, no soy diferente a cualquier persona, soy del grupo de la gente ordinaria, ese soy yo. Durante mucho tiempo he contemplado todas las ideas vagas que andan por mi mente, durante mucho tiempo he estado replanteándome lo que quieren de mí y lo que quiero yo, lo que deseo y pienso. He conocido tantas mascaras mías, he inventado tantas, siempre dividiendo mi alma para poder ser indescifrable, tanto que ahora no sé quién soy, tantas piezas que se me hacen imposible armarlas para descubrirme, un rompecabezas agotador e interminable, muchas personas he visto y conocido, a cada una de ella he dejado ver una pieza, a cada una de ellas les he dejado una verdad y una mentira.

Vivo tras una pantalla imaginaria, tras una máscara de porcelana china con millones de fisuras, siempre me pregunto qué debo hacer y a dónde debo ir, pero la respuesta siempre parece más lejana desde la primera vez.

Los excesos se inventaron para llenar vacíos en nuestras vidas, por estos últimos días he descubierto varios, he de decir que si mi yo moralista de años atrás estuviera vivo tal vez me abofetearía hasta que mis mejillas sangrasen, pero él murió hace tiempo, o tal vez esa es solo una pieza de las muchas que hay, tal vez una de esas se basa en aparentar, no soy capaz de desnudar mi alma porque no sé dónde está.

El orgullo es el pecado más grande, no tienes más salida que ahogarte con su peso, también tengo mucho de él, mucho de aquello que al aparecer no es bueno, me miro al espejo y no veo más que aquel sujeto, este que no desearía ser y se posa en alma y cuerpo sobre lo que debería ser diferente.

No sé si soy un ser triste, feliz, con o sin amor,  cada día que transcurre lucho por descubrirlo y de eso se trata el camino, de ahí vienen las sorpresas, siempre miro al firmamento, miro al horizonte buscando respuestas, buscando eso que no sé qué será.

     Escrito por: 

                      Edson Andrés Londoño

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