Caídos

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El día transcurría de lo más normal, aquella mañana había ido al gimnasio, luego por unas compras y después a casa; el sol, con pequeños destellos acariciaba a los transeúntes, todo parecía seguir su curso, nada fuera de lo normal, era otro día más en la ciudad.

Ahora mismo puedo divagar entre los recuerdos que me quedan antes de lo sucedido, conversaciones atiborran mi mente, se oía por todo lado que una crisis azotaba el continente asiático, una epidemia se vivía al otro lado del mundo; por ese tiempo yo pensaba, con frialdad y sosiego, que no habría porqué preocuparse, sí, que mal por ellos, pero… y eso qué, era al otro lado del mundo, aquel lugar donde comen perros, gatos, y un poco de cualquier cosa que tenga más de cuatro patas.

Aquel día, cuando llegué a casa, tenía los ingredientes para preparar la perfecta pasta carbonara, y es que tengo que decirlo, me quedaba fenomenal; justo en ese momento cuando la salsa blanca ya estaba en su punto, mi atención fue captada, una noticia de última hora nos sacudía, mi teléfono se llenó de mensajes, mi familia y amigos anunciaban lo que, con asombro, ya estaba oyendo del canal de noticias. “El presidente ha decretado cuarentena nacional, el COVID19 es una amenaza latente, queda prohibido salir a las calles, el contacto físico debe reducirse casi a nada, se decreta cuarentena nacional”.

En ese momento todo se detuvo, cada palabra, cada sílaba caló en mi cabeza, cuarentena nacional, ¿y qué carajos se suponía era eso? Muchas preguntas pasaban por mi mente, tan rápido como para no detenerme a responderlas. ¿No iría más al gimnasio? ¿Qué sería del trabajo? ¿Cómo pagaría las cuentas? ¿Cómo carajo se podría vivir? De repente todo se detuvo, mi mente dejó de cuestionarse, todo se redujo a una gran desilusión, se suponía que este sería mi año, tendría que hacer muchas cosas, y ahora… todo estaba cagado porque un chino, según dicen, se tragó un murciélago, que nos la ha hecho bien eh.

En un principio se supondría todo estaría bien, mi yo interior me orillaba a la calma, eso era lo que se requería de momento y bueno… dos semanas no resultaban ser mayor cosa, en teoría. Los días transcurrían lentamente, de una forma frustrante y poco placentera, pasaba de la cocina, a la sala, del refrigerador a la cama, a la ventana, al suelo, a una silla, todo una y otra vez en un mismo día.

Durante el décimo cuarto día ya me resultaba terapéutico sentarme a hablar con las plantas, cierta paz emanaba, mientras se me iba la vida ellas resultaban más verdes. Se suponía que estábamos a menos de 24 horas de levantar dicha cuarentena, y aunque las noticias no pintaban nada bien, puesto que daban un presagio de confinamiento sin fecha de caducidad, algo en mí decía que todo acabaría según lo habían dicho, en 15 días, y es que a veces resultamos bastante ingenuos, la esperanza nos vuelve un poco tontos. Una hora más tarde el gobierno indicó que todo se prolongaría durante un mes más… de eso han pasado ya 18 meses.

Ahora mismo todo ha acabado, aquellas pretensiones que se posaban en mí han caído; estoy solo en casa, caminando de un lado a otro, tomando tiempo para ver más televisión, como si no viera lo suficiente, tengo una maldita ampolla en el culo de dormir en el sofá, todo se ha vuelto una locura, cajeros automáticos saqueados, centros comerciales, mercados locales, la gente ha caído en la miseria, el caos se ha apoderado de muchos, y no les culpo, el pánico nos socava y la cordura se pierde.  

Nunca pensé estar en una cárcel, confinado al olvido, al desgarrador encuentro con la soledad y mírame ahora, estoy en una cárcel física y mental, abarrotado hasta el culo porque no puedo pensar con serenidad; las cuentas bancarias se van vaciando, mis visitas al refrigerador son menos, la comida escasea, he estado comiendo fríjoles con arroz quién sabe por cuánto, llevar la cuenta de los días no tiene sentido. Me levanto a medio día esperando que sean las 6:00 Pm para almorzar y volver a la cama.

Nunca esperamos que algo nos desestabilice, vivimos con la imagen de que todo es para siempre, con la muerte latente, pero ignorándole para poder vivir, nunca pensamos en que algo puede ocurrir, el simple hecho de pensarlo nos perturba y nadie desea ser atormentado. He tratado de mantenerme, me he esforzado por mantener la esperanza de que mañana todo acabará, que los muertos cesarán y la cura servirá, he esperado ello desde hace tiempo, desde hace tiempo he replanteado la idea de acabar con todo, a sabiendas que todo lo que tengo es nada. La vida se ha esfumado, la muerte nos ha plantado una huella, una herida que sólo al morir podremos olvidar.

Escrito por: 

                    Edson Andrés Londoño

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